relationships, away from freedom...

may be i been lazy or may be i been shy... but here i am anyway...

for the last month or so i been mooting about relationships and freedom... the question i asked myself was "why should freedom be the price we pay to have relationships?"

i been observing many relationships around me and started seeing that in almost all of them 'possession' is the basic instinct than love... it has to be reread; today possessing the 'other' is what we call love... should it be like that... this 'possession' is the root cause of all misery... every one wanting the 'other person' to be theirs and theirs only...i met an old friend who is still in pain from a long gone relationship... though i felt sad for this person, i came to realize that here also 'possession' is the cause of pain.. she/he is wanting to have the 'other' for herself/himself and that has not happened... also i had discussions with few of my facebook friends on adding the name of the husband to his wife's... this is another instance of 'possession' or marking what is one's just like 'sindooram'... we at times think that having freedom to choose or not to choose is beyond the 'other'... "for me, I am the only one she/he needs"...

love, its in itself is a pain; the pain of giving oneself, the pain of having to forgo, the pain of knowing that this person ave the freedom to not love you back, the pain of being alone and together... but there is sweetness beyond this pain; will reach there only if the persons in a relationship travels together in freedom always celebrating the individuality of the other...

this is not to say that i tend to take pain in keeping all my relationships in the sweet territory of love... i am too a culprit of sorts, who tends to forget the equality and individuality of the 'other' at times...